And Now, Here They Are: My Moments of Zen

Hanging clothes on the line.  So relaxing.  (Who knew?)

Getting hugs from my kids, especially unsolicted ones.

Drying Raisin’s hair.  (NOT combing it, though.  No one will ever achieve Nirvana during that procedure.)

Taking a bath.  It’s especially restful if the bathroom is clean, but let’s not aim too high, huh?

Getting a pedicure.  If anyone knows of a bank that gives away free money and time machines, I could do this more than twice a year.

Realizing that it’s 2:01, and Raisin hasn’t yet noticed that her “quiet time” is over.  That IS like a time machine!

Conversations

My attempts to communicate with my offspring have been frustrating of late.  Orange and Apple don’t have very large vocabularies.*  So, I spend a lot of time guessing:

“Orange, you’re signing ‘all-done,’ are you done with your milk, too, or do you want more?”  [She shakes her head "no."]  “No, you don’t want more?”  [She signs for more.]  “I have no idea what you want.”

[Apple points and grunts.]  “What do you want, Apple?  You want the ball?”  [shakes head]  “You want your book?”  [shakes head, signs more]  “More WHAT!?”

In Raisin’s case, the problem is definitely not that she lacks vocabulary.  Instead, she often leaves me wishing we had never encouraged this whole language thing:

“Raisin, brush your teeth, please.”

“Mommy, I’m too cold.“

“OK, put your sweater on.”

“But I’ll get toothpaste all over my beautiful sweater!”

“Riiigghht.  Fine, brush your teeth, then put your sweater on.  You can’t be that cold.”

[5 minutes later]

“Raisin, what are you doing?  Did you brush your teeth?”

“No, I’m too cold!”

*This may have something to do with the fact that Raisin answers all questions addressed to either of them.  Who needs to learn to talk?

Better Than Nothing

It’s better to do SOMETHING than nothing at all, right?  For example, it’s better to wash Apple’s hands for the 10 seconds I can get him to hold still, than not to wash them at all?  And if we’re running out of time, it’s better to give my kids fast food than no food at all?

Better, too, to visit my grandma in the hospital, even if I spend the whole visit babbling nonsense, than not to visit at all?

I do wish, though, that I had more to show for my efforts than just “better than nothing.”

Dear Barack,

I feel that we have gotten to know each other much better since my last letter.  For example, I have learned that you are actually human, and not some kind of super-candidate.  I’m not sure what you’ve learned about me — you probably don’t remember either, since I live in Minnesota.  Since my vote has already been cast, primary-wise, I realize my opinion doesn’t count for much anymore.

I want you to know that if you win the nomination, I will still vote for you in November.  And if Senator Clinton (she’s pretty scary; I’m not about to first-name her yet) gets it, I’ll vote for her.

Still, I think you should also know that I am a little disappointed.  It’s too much to expect any person to stand up to the kind of scrutiny that modern presidential candidates undergo.  It was never realistic to think that you would still seem as idealistic and high-minded in May as you did in December.  I should have known that anyone with the gall to think they could run for president must have a streak of arrogance.

It’s OK. You have some good ideas, even some great ones, and I think you really do want to make things better for all of us.  You still might be the great president I’ve been hoping for.

I don’t even really blame you.  You have done what you felt you must, responding to Mrs. Clinton and Rev. Wright in language forceful enough to let skeptics know that you are serious.

It does make me sad, though.  Maybe you had no good choices, but I can’t pretend to be thrilled with everything you say, either.

Now you know.

Sincerely,

Julie

Dudes

I heard a Checker Auto Parts (or some such store) commercial on the radio the other day, and it inspired me to provide this public service announcement.

Attention All Heterosexual Men,

Please be advised that NONE of the following things will turn you into a female:

Doing something nice for your wife.

Having things other than tools and auto parts in the garage.

Grocery shopping.

Being gay.  (This was not actually addressed in the commercial, but in a song I heard.  Also, please know that you can use lotion or even get a pedicure, and still be neither gay nor a woman once you are finished.)

It’s true.  Honest.