An encounter with a relative (who does not read this blog) has made me feel like I need to clarify this position (for myself):
If any of our children are gay, I believe:
1) It will not be readily apparent at the age of 2 1/2, or even 5. At this age, I’m not even sure if Orange and Apple are definitely right-handed or not. I’m definitely not ready to “assign” them a gender role or a sexuality.
2) It will not be because of something we have done at the age of 2 1/2 or 5. It won’t be because, for example, I allowed Apple to play dress-up in a dress. (What would be the girl equivalent of that? Letting them play with hammers? Allowing them to wear comfortable shoes? It sounds so ridiculous to my ears I can’t even fathom the logic.)
It will be because that is who they are. As their mother, I love who they are now, and I always will.
More bluntly: I don’t believe I have any control over whether my kids are gay. I may have some influence over whether they’re homophobic, and I intend to exert it.
More passive-aggressively: Mind your own business, aunty-dear. Your house is made of glass when it comes to child-rearing.
May 11, 2009 at 7:30 pm |
Amen Sister! Well put.
May 12, 2009 at 12:28 pm |
“I may have some influence over whether they’re homophobic, and I intend to exert it.”
I love that.
May 16, 2009 at 8:08 am |
You know, nobody cares as much if you let your girls play with tools, play sports, etc. It only worries people if boys have “girl” toys. Why the double standard, I wonder?
That being said, I work in an elementary school, and ideas about sexual orientation come out earlier than I would have ever imagined. I know five-year-olds who are already starting to show preferences this way.
To wit, my almost-five tells me she wants to marry a girl when she grows up. And I told her that was fine by me.