Vampire Babies

In the wise, immortal words of Cher from Clueless, “I feel impotent and out of control, and I really hate that.” The Hobbit keeps getting bitten at day care, so much so that I want to paint her poor, abused flesh with hot pepper sauce. That’d teach ’em! If I could only be sure she wouldn’t put her own mouth on it….

My rational brain is well aware that lots of kids go through this phase, and that there must be victims of it somewhere. In this rational state, I can also see the value of the day care’s policy not to reveal the identity of the biter.

However, it is my more primal maternal self that is in control here. This self is pretty darn sure who the biter is, and it’s the same kid every time. This self thinks said baby is very cute, and is sure his parents think very highly of him, but also wants to put him in a Hannibal Lecter mask until he STOPS BITING MY BABY!!!!!!

A little over the top?


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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2 Responses to Vampire Babies

  1. Jane says:

    Wait out in the parking lot and bite him back…

  2. Julie says:

    Yeah, I’ve been trying to size up his mom. I think I could take her, if she objects to my chosen course of action.

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