If it weren’t for the physical symptoms of pregnancy, I would not feel pregnant this time around. I mean, it’s kind of hard to ignore the puking and the growing belly (they weren’t kidding when they said I’d “pop” earlier the second time!) and the constant need to eat — post-puking, obviously. I could even swear I’d felt movement, if it didn’t seem so ridiculously early.
Even mentally, I think it’s sinking in that we are having another baby. I keep making lists of things we need to do. I am looking forward to the fall, and worrying about how we’ll manage the needs of two kids. I keep telling people I have a “boy” vibe this time (I was right about Raisin, so we’ll see….).
Emotionally, though, I’m just not getting it. I’m not experiencing the kind of connection to this baby that I felt with Raisin. Truthfully, I’m not even sure I remember how I felt with Raisin — maybe I’m projecting the connection I feel with her now back onto the pregnancy? Either way, it’s bothering me a little, when I’m not too tired to think about it at all.
I mentioned the feeling to the midwife, and she thinks it’s normal. “I wouldn’t say a pregnancy can take care of itself, exactly,” she said, “but it almost can. Your focus needs to be on your daughter, and that’s OK.”
Reassuring words, but I could use some more. Did anyone else experience something like this with a second (or later) pregnancy?
Life in the Fruit Salad household is:Crazy. Wonderful. Exhausting. Exhilarating. Chaotic. Full. Blessed.