Things Are… Different This Time

If it weren’t for the physical symptoms of pregnancy, I would not feel pregnant this time around. I mean, it’s kind of hard to ignore the puking and the growing belly (they weren’t kidding when they said I’d “pop” earlier the second time!) and the constant need to eat — post-puking, obviously. I could even swear I’d felt movement, if it didn’t seem so ridiculously early.

Even mentally, I think it’s sinking in that we are having another baby. I keep making lists of things we need to do. I am looking forward to the fall, and worrying about how we’ll manage the needs of two kids. I keep telling people I have a “boy” vibe this time (I was right about Raisin, so we’ll see….).

Emotionally, though, I’m just not getting it. I’m not experiencing the kind of connection to this baby that I felt with Raisin. Truthfully, I’m not even sure I remember how I felt with Raisin — maybe I’m projecting the connection I feel with her now back onto the pregnancy? Either way, it’s bothering me a little, when I’m not too tired to think about it at all.

I mentioned the feeling to the midwife, and she thinks it’s normal. “I wouldn’t say a pregnancy can take care of itself, exactly,” she said, “but it almost can. Your focus needs to be on your daughter, and that’s OK.”

Reassuring words, but I could use some more. Did anyone else experience something like this with a second (or later) pregnancy?

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About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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5 Responses to Things Are… Different This Time

  1. Isabel says:

    Interesting.

    This is my third pregnancy (but first baby) and I think I’m totally different with this one. I guess I “wasted” my super duper excited emotions on the first one and a little on the second one.

    It makes me feel bad though. Because this one deserves for me to be just as happy as I was about the earlier ones.

    But they say…each pregnancy is different.

    (and sorry about the puking. NOT FUN!)

  2. Beth Fish says:

    Maybe it is just because Raisin is so darned cute you get distracted and can’t focus on the baby.

  3. Jane says:

    Totally did the same thing. First pregnancy – everything was focused on the new baby. The room was ready months in advance, the child had more clothes than ten babies ever needed, and it was all we could talk about.

    Second baby – is almost six weeks old, has no room, no furniture, all hand-me-down clothing, and constantly gets called by her big sister’s name (and occasionally, mine – my mom can’t straighten the three of us out).

    I was so focused on the Bear that I didn’t have time to think about the new baby – but now that she’s here, we have enough love for everyone. Seriously. It’s a love-fest around here. A sleep-deprived, tantrum-throwing, poop-splattered love-fest.

    Also? The boy vibes? They are so wrong. I had them too. I was convinced. And yet? Two girls. The gods are laughing at me.

  4. Julie says:

    Jane — that’s good to hear. Well, except for the boy-vibe part. Not because I especially want a boy (we’re happy either way), but because I hate to be wrong. 🙂

  5. Moogie says:

    Absolutely. Exactly like you with my second. It took me getting to well into my second trimester, when things really started moving, for me to develop some excitement over the baby. I’m happy to say that it got better in time. You are just tired, and sick, and have lots of things going on in your mind…etc…It’s no wonder things like this happen.

    So now you don’t have to feel as if you are alone.

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