The Trouble With Faith

Or, How Raisin’s Mommy Lost the Last Shreds of Her Sanity in Just 5 Days.

Saturday: urgent care. Diagnosis: pinkeye. Could be viral, could be bacterial. No problem, I can handle this. Either the drops will help, or it will clear up on it’s own. I believed.

Sunday: emergency room. Diagnosis: croup. This means the pinkeye is viral. Slightly scary, but doctor says we caught it early, and they give steroids that will hopefully prevent a more serious attack. Should clear up on its own after that. I believed.

Monday: at home. No new problems, so Raisin must be recovering, right? Sure.

Tuesday: at home, fever is 103. No appointments available with regular doctor, so back to urgent care. Diagnosis: secondary bacterial infection because immune system was weakened by the virus. (It seems she has a double ear infection, bronchitis, a new round of bacterial pinkeye, and possibly strep throat. $%&#.) Still, I believed in the power of the antibiotics, and it was a relief to be able to do something more concrete.

Wednesday: at home, still. Again, hoping for a day of rest so Raisin can recover. She starts throwing up, her mommy throws a tantrum. I’m running out of faith, calling the clinic in tears, moments away from insisting that SOMEONE in the medical profession had better $%&#ing FIX my child RIGHT NOW. Diagnosis: it could be a reaction to the antibiotic, but it’s too soon to tell.

Then, Raisin looks over at me and says, “Mommy, what doing? I hungry.” So she eats some grapes. All of a sudden, she’s almost 100% back to normal. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. This parenting thing is, like, hard, dude.