Just Watch What You Say To Me

Him: I like your pregnant belly. You know that, right?
Me: Do you like my big, fat pregnant butt, too?
Him, sensing danger: Yes?
[stony silence]
Him: I mean, your butt doesn’t look any different than it usually does?
Me: So it’s always fat?

Raisin’s toy vacuum: Oh, boy! This place is a mess!
Me: Shut your trap, Dusty.


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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