Dear NSA, I Am Only Kidding

According to “The Daily Show,” which honestly is where I get most of my news, the President weighed in at 196 pounds at his recent physical. My first thought was that this is uncomfortably close to my own weight.

Then, I realized, “If it weren’t for those pesky Secret Service agents and the fact that I’m toting two extra humans around in my abdomen, I could totally take him.”

I know it speaks to some deep-seated issues on my part, but that really made my day.


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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3 Responses to Dear NSA, I Am Only Kidding

  1. The whole time I was pregnant with my twins I was obsessed with comparing my weight to the weight of football players. You seem reasonable to me.

  2. Rude Cactus says:

    Is it wrong that I’d really like to see you take him? Because I’m sure you could. When faced with conflict, I’m sure he cries like a little girl.

  3. Julie says:

    Sarah — thank you. I’ve decided to try not to get too obsessed with how much weight I gain. I’ll think about it tomorrow, la, la, la.

    Chris — I don’t think it’s wrong at all. In fact, let’s get a whole bunch of pregnant women together. Nothing scarier than a pack of hormonal, angry, liberal women.

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