Dear NSA, I Am Only Kidding

According to “The Daily Show,” which honestly is where I get most of my news, the President weighed in at 196 pounds at his recent physical. My first thought was that this is uncomfortably close to my own weight.

Then, I realized, “If it weren’t for those pesky Secret Service agents and the fact that I’m toting two extra humans around in my abdomen, I could totally take him.”

I know it speaks to some deep-seated issues on my part, but that really made my day.

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About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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3 Responses to Dear NSA, I Am Only Kidding

  1. The whole time I was pregnant with my twins I was obsessed with comparing my weight to the weight of football players. You seem reasonable to me.

  2. Rude Cactus says:

    Is it wrong that I’d really like to see you take him? Because I’m sure you could. When faced with conflict, I’m sure he cries like a little girl.

  3. Julie says:

    Sarah — thank you. I’ve decided to try not to get too obsessed with how much weight I gain. I’ll think about it tomorrow, la, la, la.

    Chris — I don’t think it’s wrong at all. In fact, let’s get a whole bunch of pregnant women together. Nothing scarier than a pack of hormonal, angry, liberal women.

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