I’m Not Dead

Last night, for the first time in about a week, I slept for more than 2 hours in a row.  Consequently, I vaguely resemble a human being today and have therefore decided to brave some contact with the outside world.

Hello, outside world!  How have you been?  Has anything interesting or exciting happened while I have been in this fog?

Also — a topic for discussion.  I have started to feel a little out of place among the moms in the playgroup we attend.  Obviously, we’re all stay-home parents, but the others seem more committed (for lack of a better word) than I am.

For me, the decision to stay home was mostly a practical one.  Paying for daycare for three kids under the age of three, let alone finding a suitable daycare with room for two newborns at the same time (or trying to shuttle the kids to two or three different places) just wasn’t reasonable.  So I quit my job.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time with my kids, or that I’m not grateful for the opportunity to do it.  But under other circumstances, I would’ve hired a nanny or put them in daycare, and I’d be OK with that, too.

So, I don’t know quite what to say* when I hear things like, “I wonder sometimes if so-and-so’s kids are so ‘easy’ because she put them in daycare and went back to work so early.  They never had anyone doting on them 24-7, so maybe they’ve learned to be more easy-going….  Of course, you’d never WANT that.”

You wouldn’t?  I don’t get it.  Isn’t it good for their family that going back to work was successful for them?  And if you see some sign that your own kids are being over-mommied, then that’s to do with you, not anyone else, yes?

OK, discuss among yourselves.

*I don’t really feel the need to SAY anything.  These are all good women and good moms.  I just find the difference in perspective interesting.


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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3 Responses to I’m Not Dead

  1. Erin says:

    “Easy” = not SPOILED ROTTEN.

    Which is not to say that I think people who devote every waking minute to their child’s every conceivable need (and some inconceivable ones, too) are bad parents. Just that kids raised that way tend to end up spoiled.

    Do I sound like a bitch? I work, my mom worked, my grandmothers worked. No time for spoiling when there’s food to put on the table and your kids might *gasp* learn to become just the teensiest bit self-sufficient.

    Whatever. The Bear went to daycare and she was Easy. Not Spoiled at all. Mouse has never gone to daycare – much needier, clingier, temper-ier, etc. Coincidence? You be the judge.

    I say, squirt them in the eye.

  2. Isabel says:

    I haven’t really thought much about this, but since you brought it up…

    My baby is “easy”. I like to say he’s “easy going and well mannered”. I work full time. My friends are SAHM and their kids demand so much more from them, ie won’t sleep unless being held. throw fits. Dude, SAHM or working mom-I don’t have time for that crap!!!

  3. kristi says:

    I think sometimes it does depend on the child. But I do get tired of being put down for being a working Mom. For us, we can’t afford for me to NOT work. It’s not a choice, it is a matter of providing a house and food for my kids as well as DARN good insurance. I feel it is teaching my daughter who is 11 to be independent and successful. And my son doesn’t understand yet, but hopefully he won’t see women as just baby makers and housekeepers as my brothers do.

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