Because I am nothing if not hospitable, here is a list of things to be grumpy about today. Join me, won’t you?
1. Sleep. I need more of it.
2. Those stupid plastic things they use to attach tags to new clothes. Note to the makers of children’s clothes, especially: if the information you want to give me about my daughter’s new shirt will not fit on one tag, please consider the possibility that the shirt is too complicated and ought to be dumbed down for the masses.
3. In a similar vein, the packaging for toys. Look, I know you don’t want to make it easy for someone to shoplift a toy by removing the package and sneaking out of the store. However, please know that every time I have to unwind those industrial twisty-ties of yours, I curse you and the horse you rode in on. So for the horse’s sake, if not for mine, LAY OFF THE DAMN TWISTY-TIES.
4. PMS. I feel confident that even any male readers among you will appreciate this one.
5. Exercise, which for me seems to mostly be a way to injure myself in exceptionally stupid ways, as opposed to my usual method of bumping into things. Example: yesterday I hit myself in the head with a two-pound weight because I didn’t notice that I had gotten too close to the place in my basement where the ceiling is lower.
I think that about covers it. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.