With The Thoughts I’d Be Thinkin’*

1. Garrison Keillor: literary luminary, or Humongous Bighead? It’s hard to tell sometimes — maybe he’s both?

2. In the 2008 presidential election, I would like to cast my vote for someone who opts out of the political game. Tell me the truth. Tell me what you really think, and not what you think I want to hear. So far, the only candidates willing to do this are friends of Shirley MacLaine or they believe that “illegal alien” means the same thing as “American dream killer.” Please tell me these are not my only choices.**

3. When Raisin chooses names for dolls or imaginary friends, they are always things like “Kaweeza” or “Halla.” When I was a child, I had an imaginary friend named “Seeley Galeely.” Um, my child and I are normal, right?

4. Orange walks on her knees. Why does she do that? (She will walk on her feet if she’s holding someone’s hand, so I’m not worried about her development. I’m just wondering…)

5. Why didn’t anyone tell me about “Wait, Wait … Don’t Tell Me?”*** I had no idea public radio could be so funny.

6. Making your own hummus is easy. I assumed there’d be some trick to it. I’ve been missing out, apparently.

7. New Year’s Resolution: go back on Weight Watchers. Good thing hummus is low fat.

8. Pre-New Year’s Resolution: eat all the junk that will tempt me after New Year’s. That way, it won’t be here to make things harder later. Logical, right?

*…I could be another Lincoln, if I only had a brain. Phew. That was like leaving “two bits” out of “Shave and a Haircut.”

**Except maybe John McCain. So add one more caveat: candidate must be willing to think outside the box on health care, the mortgage crisis, education, and most importantly, Iraq.

***Get it?


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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3 Responses to With The Thoughts I’d Be Thinkin’*

  1. Jess says:

    My mom told me when I was 2 1/2 or so my made up name for myself was Dawnshell Dahlen (or Don Shelldollen, I have no idea…I didn’t know letters or spelling)!

    My real name was Jessica Elizabeth C***. Mom often called me Jeddy-Kay.

    No wonder I was confused.

  2. rudecactus says:

    #1, I think, he’s both.

    Happy new year!!

  3. Julie says:

    Jess – There seems to be a design flaw in that adults can’t remember their childhood thought processes, which might otherwise help them understand their kids. I should get to work on that — it might be a million-dollar idea!

    Chris – I suppose he must be. It’s just perplexing to think so highly of someone one minute, and the next to want to smash in his very large head (because it’s big figuratively and literally — fun!).

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