I Don’t Know How You Do It

People often ask me “how I do it.” How do I manage with toddler twins and a preschooler (or, at first, infant twins and a toddler)? (Go ahead and laugh, moms with triplets — or those of you with 4 + kids. It’s OK. You have earned it.)

I don’t know.

At home, it’s not too hard. We follow the Routine, and it serves us pretty well. Some days Raisin doesn’t brush her teeth until after lunch, and some days the grit underfoot in the kitchen feels like a million daggers in my soul, but it all gets taken care of eventually.

But I don’t want to be the mom who says “no” all the time, so we venture to the library, or bowling with Raisin’s friends from school, or out to play in the snow. At the library, Orange tries to rip pages out of every book. At the bowling alley, Apple wanted a closer look at the pins, and I had to chase him down the lane. It took me 1/2 hour to get everyone dressed for outside today. Apple and Orange both had their boots off within 2 minutes of being out (a good chunk of the 1/2 hour was me putting one twin back in their boots while the other struggled out of theirs). I made them stay out another 15 minutes anyway.

They deserve to have all these childhood experiences, and the fact that it’s hard for me is no excuse for them to miss out. So, I keep trying. But I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I’m “managing.”

The real trick is being OK with that.

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About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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5 Responses to I Don’t Know How You Do It

  1. Emmie (Better Make It A Double) says:

    Very well put, and not easy to do. I will say that even though age 2 is hard, there is some real relief in the fact that the logistics are so much easier, plus they really do play together. I can’t remember how old your twins are exactly, but the 2nd half of age one was the hardest for me, and age two has, on the whole been a bit better. I totally agree about those childhood experiences. I think a lot of multiples spend a ton of time at home in a rec room because confidence is an issue for parents, and I try really hard to think “what would we be doing if I had a singleton”. While I grit my teeth a lot and not every outing is succesful, most are, and I’m almost always glad we got out of the house and took a chance. When the boys turned two, we cut a jump rope in half and attached a a length of it plus handle to each side of the double jogger. Preschoolers’ arms are long enough to just walk along with a hand on the stroller, but for younger kids, having that handle seems to work better, and for some reason, mine don’t question it. Just a thought for when they’re older. I think the way you handle things with your three is an inspiration.

  2. Julie says:

    Thanks, Emmie. I do enjoy when we get together with other twin moms; it gives me great pleasure to see someone else running around the same way I do.

    My twins are 16 months, so it’s good to hear that this time was hard for you, too. Maybe I’m not screwing up as bad as I think! 🙂 If I can make it a few more months, hopefully things will start to get better.

    I should say, too, that I know parenting is hard no matter how many kids you have. I meant to say that in the post.

  3. rudecactus says:

    I only have one, soon to be two, and I’m not sure how it’ll go down. I make myself feel better by watching that show about the family with two six year olds and six two year olds. It can’t be more hectic than that!

    (PS – Happy Delurking Day!)

  4. AnnD says:

    Just lurking about – I too get the ‘How do you do that” a lot – I only have singletons but the oldest was just five (and three weeks) when the 4th was born, and the 3rd is only 17 months older than the babe. We are managing – and I have a lot of fun. Winter is kicking my butt – it is tough getting out the door with all the winter gear.

    Have to admit, can’t imagine going bowling with my crowd. Wow – that would be an effort.

  5. AnnD says:

    Just coming back – my eldest is 5 (and 2/3rds – we are working on fractions), then my almost 4 year old (Feb. 04), my 2 year old and 1 week and my now 7 month old. We too have ‘economies of scale’ because everyone is so close – they like the same things. I can’t imagine spacing 4 out over 10+ years, they would all be so different!

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