People, I do not understand myself. I have been pondering (obsessing about) this pregnancy dream for a couple of weeks now.
What does it mean? Have I somehow changed my mind about having another baby? If it were possible, would I want to do it all again?
After much thought, I don’t think so. My feelings have changed, in that the idea does not make me retch. My fundamental sense that our family is complete remains, though.
Apparently, there was some secret part of me that went on … hoping? fearing? … that maybe some big cosmic accident could’ve happened. Now, faced with proof that even that part of me can’t ignore, I am sad.
Human emotion is so trippy.