Orange, at the ripe old age of 21 months, has decided she would like to use the potty. Of course I am thrilled with her precociousness and initiative, officially. (I know this isn’t the earliest any kid has ever done this, it’s just that we haven’t even talked about potty training Apple and Orange yet, so this is all out of her own head.)
Unofficially speaking, would you like to hear all the reasons that this is NOT the best news I’ve heard all week? I thought so.
1) Potty training is time-consuming. While I sit and read “A Potty For Me” to Orange, Raisin will be trying to get the laptop off the counter and Apple will be shutting himself inside the toy refrigerator. Or, if I leave Orange to sit on the potty while I do something else, she will wander off without a diaper and end up pooping in the couch. You know it’s true.
2) Orange screams every time I make her get off the potty and every time I try to put a diaper on her (no way are we ready for underwear, but I might try pull-ups). Raisin could talk by the time she really took to potty training. Our real reason for waiting with Raisin was the pregnancy/early months with the twins, but now I see what a boon it was to be able to say “we’ll try again later” and have her know what I was talking about.
3) Apple thinks the potty chair is a toy. When he first saw Orange on it, he wanted to try it too, but he cried right away and wanted to get off. Then he discovered that it comes apart, so he spent a good portion of the evening carrying it around and putting things in it. Things from the kitchen. I feel like I need to dip my whole house in bleach.
Back on the other hand, I have just allowed myself to imagine what a life without diapers would be like. It’s a speck on the horizon, but oh, it’s so lovely.