Do they still have those classes where you walk around with a book on your head and learn to be graceful? I think I might need those. I am a klutz. This didn’t matter so much when I sat at a desk all day, but climbing playground equipment, dodging open dishwasher doors, and stepping through the toy maze that is our living room makes it painfully obvious.
If you should ever encounter a woman struggling up a narrow stairway with a toddler in tow, trying to hurry that toddler along in order to catch up to the other toddler and preschooler already at the top of the steps, and that woman should apologize for blocking your way and attempt to excuse herself with a lame joke about being in over her head, please be kind to her. Say it’s OK, offer to help if you have time (or don’t if you’re busy, that’s fine too). But please, please don’t make some impatient-sounding comment about how you’re sure her kids are fine. A preschooler and a toddler out of their mother’s sight in an unfamiliar building are not OK. Thanks.*
Raisin is taking swimming lessons, and I don’t even have to be in the water with her. (How did she get old enough for that?) She is a complete fish — it’s fun to watch her. Orange and Apple are in a class with the Jellyman and I. They are somewhat less impressed.
I recently discovered Jon & Kate Plus Eight. This show makes me feel simultaneously inadequate and resentful. Inadequate because her abs are flatter than mine and she had 6 babies in there AT THE SAME TIME, and because I have never yet seen either Kate or Jon completely lose their cool. Resentful, because I realize that if I had my own TV show, I could probably get the manager of a gym to open just for me, too. And all my losing-my-cool moments could be edited out.
*Also, regarding steps: how many Weight Watchers points does one earn for climbing multiple flights of stairs with 25 pounds of toddler on each arm? Enough for a Blizzard?