Caveat Emptor: Apparently, the latest in graffiti cool. So far, I’ve seen it spray-painted on a retaining wall near a place that does something with some kind of petroleum product (ask the Jellyman; he knows what it really is) and on an underpass on the way to work. I do not know of what I am meant to beware, however, so the warning is less than helpful.
Cover Your Mouth! and Look, Don’t Touch!: Phrases I say millions of times WITH ABSOLUTELY NO RESULTS. This is doing wonders for my self-esteem.
But, Moooommmmmm: Dangerous, as I am so tempted to do ANYTHING that will make this particular noise stop.
No Big. Baby!: Orange’s latest contribution to the household’s conversation. She has very strong opinions about what is big and what is little (Daddy is big, Orange is big. Daddy’s shoes are big, Orange’s shoes are little. Etc.). However, she cannot bring herself to say the word “little,” so she substitutes “baby.” Whatever works. Apple’s picked this up as well. The other day he asked me where “Baba” was. “Grandpa’s at work,” I said. “No big Baba! Baby Baba!” he indignantly replied. The *%&$ Homer Simpson toy was missing.*
Little Full, Lotta Sap: We cut our own Christmas tree this year, which makes me feel very Griswold-y. Luckily, our lovely blue spruce has not broken any windows and does not appear to contain any squirrels. Raisin wants to be able to plant it in our yard after Christmas because we got a book from the library in which the family does just that (note to self: read adorable Christmas books all the way through before checking out). I think I dodged that bullet by explaining that we’d have to dig the tree up with the roots for that to work. Check back with me around January 1st, and I’ll let you know. I may have to add an explanation of planting seasons and frost dates, about which I guarantee you I do not know enough to satisfy the questions she’d ask.
Eating an Elephant: My approach to Christmas this year. I am going to get it all done, because I am going to be sensible and do a little bit at a time. When I explained this to the Jellyman, he supported the idea (he’s a wise man, my husband, and not given to pointing out the flaws in my plans) but had to have the elephant thing explained. Somebody back me up on this one.
*I feel I have to explain that the Homer Simpson toy came with some kind of fast food kids’ meal. When I saw that the kids had gotten Simpsons toys, I threw them all away. Or so I thought, until Apple found this one and started calling it Baba. And now I have to live with it, because otherwise I’ll be the mom who threw Grandpa in the trash.**
**I have fewer qualms about being the mom who “lost” Orange’s red shoes. They were once part of a Halloween costume for Raisin, and they are at least a full size too big for Orange. Nevertheless, she wore them for about 2 straight weeks (and that includes sleeping) until her toes (which I saw occasionally when I forcibly removed the shoes so she could take a bath or put on clean socks) were all red and raw. So I hid the shoes. She only asked for them once or twice today, a great improvement over the crying that ensued yesterday when they first went “missing.”