Important Things I Taught My Children This Week

I taught Orange to say “Barack Obama.”  She liked the sound of it, and made up a song.  Raisin’s been a fan for a long time, and Apple wouldn’t say it, although he enjoyed all the jumping around we did when Obama took the oath of office.*

“Whatever God wants, he keeps!”  I think my sole purpose in telling this joke was to distract the kids so that they’d stop screaming and let me get their lunch already.  It worked; they listened intently while I attempted to explain the concept of Short Circuit.  I suppose I better show them the movie before they’re old enough to make fun of me for its outdatedness.  (Mom, I’m sorry about The Graduate.  Really quite a good film, now that I think about it!)

Want to keep all those lovely Christmas gifts you received, darling children o’ mine?  A couple of quick tips: feed the fish when Mommy asks you to.  Don’t choke your sister with that string of beads.  And stop throwing that toy vacuum down the stairs.  Because if you make Mommy crazy, Christmas next year will be way less fun.

*The first time.


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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