In my pre-kid life, I worked with a guy who used to declare a winner at the end of each work day. His system worked like this: If he had worked really hard that day, the company had gotten its money’s worth from him, and was therefore the winner. If it had been a light day, he’d been paid the same amount for not as much work, and he won.
I’m not really sure if there was a larger war, or if he was just interested in the daily battles. My overall impression is that he won most days.
That’s really not my point.
I’ve decided to create my own system. Because I’m me, mine will necessarily be a lot more complicated than Former Coworker Dude’s. I’m thinking I’ll give myself points for forward progress, and detract for distractions.
For example, on Tuesday I offered to take the trash cans out to the street because the Jellyman ran out of time before he needed to leave for work. Wifely solicitude, 2 pts. I also actually took the trash cans out to the street, so I’m gonna go ahead and award myself an additional 3 pts. However, I remembered at the last minute that I was supposed to have done so, so I ran outside in my pjs after I had just started to put dinner in the crockpot for that night. Minus 2 pts. Although I did remember to turn off the burner under the browning hamburger (um, not that I really need to mention that, because of course I have never forgotten such a thing, leaving my precious babies alone with a lit stove), and I did make it before the garbage truck came, so maybe I’ll give myself back 1.
I’ll add up all the points at the end of the day, and then …
Well, screw it. Then I’ll declare myself the winner no matter what and reward myself with some chocolate.