My MIL and I were just reminiscing about how different a mother I was when Riya was a baby than I am now. It got me thinking about how very, very dumb I was. To wit:
When I was pregnant, I read in one of my pregnancy books that it was a good idea to schedule an ultrasound first thing in the morning. That way, you’d be sure to have a full bladder.
I’m sure I must’ve learned some valuable things from those books, but the only examples I can think of now are of the frighteningly stupid things I did because the books told me to.
I will give you the gory details in bullet form, in the hope that it’ll make it less unpleasant.
- Despite having gotten up in the middle of the night, I had to pee first thing in the morning. See also: pregnant.
- I tried not to.
- Then I tried to go just a little. This is like poking the teeniest hole in the Hoover Dam to relieve some pressure.
- I chugged water, because OMG, if you show up with an empty bladder, you flunk pregnancy and they don’t let you keep the baby.
- The tech complained about not being able to see, but then I almost started to cry. She got scared and didn’t say another word.
So, here’s the advice I’d give a newly pregnant woman today (if I were asked, because: assvice.): Make the appointment whenever you want. Go to the bathroom half an hour before, then start drinking water slowly. It’ll be fine. Also: pregnancy is the only time you can get what you want by crying or giving people evil glares, and not feel guilty about it. Use your power.
An additional tip I picked up during one of my many, many Level II ultrasounds during the twin pregnancy: a good technician will find what they need no matter the state of your bladder.
These are the kinds of things the books should tell you.