I don’t know what to say

I keep writing posts in my head, which makes me feel like I’m still blogging.  Turns out the Internet isn’t actually plugged into my brain yet, though, so I suppose it doesn’t count.  (And, really, didn’t Keanu Reeves teach us all what a bad idea that would be?)

Most of the aborted posts were about my grandpa, abandoned because I couldn’t quite figure out what to write.

One of them started to sound like a plea for health-care reform, but I didn’t want to politicize the illness of someone I love.

In some, it seemed like I was questioning decisions my grandma has made on his behalf, when really I have the utmost respect for her and everything she’s done.

Sometimes, I thought I was treading dangerously close to demanding acclaim for the paltry contributions I’ve been able to make to the family cause .

Other times, it was more like I had no right to complain about the “crisis” of a family with access to safe hospitals, good doctors, and food that can be delivered to one’s door.

I don’t want to go on saying nothing, however.   He’s been fighting this latest illness for so long, and we are all so stressed and tired.  I need my outlet.  In the interest of avoiding landmines, I will keep it simple:

My grandpa is sick, probably so sick that he won’t go back home — at best, he’ll need 24 hour care in a nursing home.  I am sad.

The end.

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About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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2 Responses to I don’t know what to say

  1. Jenni says:

    Julie,

    I have a grandpa that is now in Heaven that I love and miss very much, and I can syympathize and understand.

    I will be praying for him and your grandma- and for all of you too. His being sick affects everyone that loves him- so everyone that he loves and that loves him will be- being prayed for.

    You have my number. Call anytime if you want to vent- and don’t want to type it! 🙂 hugs to you friend.

  2. missmunchy says:

    I am so sorry to hear he is so sick
    But, I am glad you are sad
    that means you are close to him…its amazing to know/love a grandparent that much!!

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