I don’t know what to say

I keep writing posts in my head, which makes me feel like I’m still blogging.  Turns out the Internet isn’t actually plugged into my brain yet, though, so I suppose it doesn’t count.  (And, really, didn’t Keanu Reeves teach us all what a bad idea that would be?)

Most of the aborted posts were about my grandpa, abandoned because I couldn’t quite figure out what to write.

One of them started to sound like a plea for health-care reform, but I didn’t want to politicize the illness of someone I love.

In some, it seemed like I was questioning decisions my grandma has made on his behalf, when really I have the utmost respect for her and everything she’s done.

Sometimes, I thought I was treading dangerously close to demanding acclaim for the paltry contributions I’ve been able to make to the family cause .

Other times, it was more like I had no right to complain about the “crisis” of a family with access to safe hospitals, good doctors, and food that can be delivered to one’s door.

I don’t want to go on saying nothing, however.   He’s been fighting this latest illness for so long, and we are all so stressed and tired.  I need my outlet.  In the interest of avoiding landmines, I will keep it simple:

My grandpa is sick, probably so sick that he won’t go back home — at best, he’ll need 24 hour care in a nursing home.  I am sad.

The end.


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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2 Responses to I don’t know what to say

  1. Jenni says:


    I have a grandpa that is now in Heaven that I love and miss very much, and I can syympathize and understand.

    I will be praying for him and your grandma- and for all of you too. His being sick affects everyone that loves him- so everyone that he loves and that loves him will be- being prayed for.

    You have my number. Call anytime if you want to vent- and don’t want to type it! 🙂 hugs to you friend.

  2. missmunchy says:

    I am so sorry to hear he is so sick
    But, I am glad you are sad
    that means you are close to him…its amazing to know/love a grandparent that much!!

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