What ARE you supposed to do with them?


I don’t know what to do with the flowers from your funeral.

What happened is this:

The day of your funeral, the funeral director said, “I’ll leave this arrangement out, so you should all take some flowers if you want some.”  And three or four other people told me to be sure to take a flower, so I took a rose.

Then when I got home, I didn’t want to put it in water because it would only last a few days, so I hung it up to dry.

The next day, at the cemetery, there was another arrangement, and everybody took more flowers.  I said, “I already have a rose at home I’m not really sure I should’ve taken.  No more.”  But the kids wanted some, and there was no reason to say “no,” so we took some carnations and mums and brought them home and put them in a vase.

And I didn’t see it coming, that today I’d cry when I threw away a brown carnation, or that the rose would give me a pang every time I saw it.

The thing is, they don’t really remind me of you.  They just remind me of the funeral, and that you died, and that I’m sad still.

But I don’t want to throw them away.


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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1 Response to What ARE you supposed to do with them?

  1. Jill says:

    A lot of people give them to nursing homes. Which… hello? Would I want to see funeral flowers if I lived in a nursing home?

    My aunt wanted flowers from my dad’s funeral to take to her church. I told her to take them. My other aunt stopped her and said to leave them at the cemetary- they were for my dad. What in the world would he do with them? So yeah, the flower thing is kind of strange.

    I’m sorry for your loss. Know you are not alone in this.

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