Facebook rehash

AKA Almost a Year in the Life

I thought I’d done this recently, but unless you count LAST AUGUST as recent, that appears not to be the case.  Anyway, you’ve probably seen these before.  They’re just such a good way to record the way our lives really are that I want to save them here.

(Also, now that I’ve finished adding them, this really could use a good editing.  But, I’m tired of this project, and saving FB posts is a lot less packratty than saving every piece of art or bronzing their toddler shoes.  So.)


September 3: Just because I’m not the student doesn’t mean I don’t want to be the teacher’s favorite. Some habits die hard.

I wish I could say my end-of-kindergarten attitude in this area is more mature, but I try not to lie to the blogosphere.

September 10: Riya: “When I grow up, I might not be a mommy. I might just be an ordinary person.” Meaning, of course, that her mommy is extraordinary, and not that she’s weird.

October 6: I love the smell of Albuterol in the morning.

October 8: The people sitting in the ER last night with masks on might as well have had a scarlet letter “I” on their chests. I’m sorry, people. It must suck not only to be sick but to have everybody be afraid of you. Still, I gotta say, I’m a little bit afraid of you.

Huh.  Remember the Swine Flu?  Thank God that turned out to be less dramatic than I feared.  Of course, while I was busy worrying about that, it was actually a different problem altogether that sent poor Karina to the ER.  Typical.

October 21: Ben’s new favorite phrase is “I yike (like) you so much, Mom!” Might just be my favorite, too.

October 25: An Eeny-Meeny-Mino-Mo craze is sweeping the Chattopadhyay five-and-under set. We cannot make any decisions without consulting the mighty tiger toe.

October 26: Ben: Why’s his name Lionel? Me: I suppose his parents picked it out, just like Mommy and Daddy picked out ‘Benjamin’ for you. Ben: I not picked out! God sent me. Me: Well, I can’t argue with that.

October 30: Me: Ben, get down. You can’t sit on a ball on a kitchen chair; it’s not safe. Ben: But, I’m a lifeguard. … Oh, well. In that case, be my guest.

November 1: Attn: Daylights Saving Propaganda People. Re: “Extra” hour lie. I think my feelings on this subject are best expressed by a quote from the film “Benny and Joon.” “You can’t give me what was already mine! … You’re trying to cheat me, you’re all trying to cheat me!”

November 8: A goal: I will teach my children to clap off the beat. Even in the midst of a congregation of Lutherans.

November 9: I’m trying to bring what Tim Gunn would call “an editing eye” to my house. I think Tim would be … concerned. [Cups chin thoughtfully in hand, squints over glasses at errant cupboard.]

[Not pictured: many love posts to Glee and it’s cast.]

November 14: Of course, OF COURSE, when my lovely, sweet, conservative, organized, elderly neighbor stops by WITH MUFFINS at 10:00 on a Saturday morning, OF COURSE all three of my children would be in states of dishabille. And OF COURSE all three of them would need to come out and talk to her, thusly unclad.

November 20: I’d like to thank Ben and Karina’s classmate who said he was “thankful for burping.” Ben was enamored of the idea, much to my (repeated) delight.

This was during a preschool “Thanksgiving” exercise.  I understand the teacher pretty much gave it up after this answer.

November 21: To the clerk who expressed surprise at the amount of squash I bought for tomorrow’s family Thanksgiving, I say: This might be the year we don’t have enough food. And I will not be the one who goes down for it.

November 30: Robin’s heading back to Charlotte today, but he left me a beautiful new exhaust fan in the bathroom to remember him by. Hott, huh?

December 8: Happiness is having a husband who may not have any idea WTF you’re talking about, but brings you ice cream just in case.

December 16: Karina: I’m the mommy, and Ben’s the daddy. Mom, you be the “hon.”

December 19: (A long day of frantic errand-running, trying to get done in time for a promised trip to the Holidazzle.) Me: Why do we do this to ourselves? Robin: Because we love our kids. Me: Oh, right. That.

December 27: Overheard from the kitchen… Robin: Riya, why are you yelling at Ben? Riya: Because I just had to answer the same questions over and over again about the same thing, and no one was listening to me! Robin: Yes, that is annoying, isn’t it?


January 2: 2010 goals: 1) stop buying diapers. 2) live in the moment. Feet on the ground/head in the clouds.

Progress occurs.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

January 5: Karina’s ode to forks (“Fork, fork, fork, forkforkforkfork… etc.”) went awry when she started to lose control of the “r”s.

January 12: Today’s ECFE parenting discussion got sidetracked from Tip Sharing Day into discussions of technology, future meetup plans, and the weather in Greece. I think the teacher hates us a little, but I ♥ this group.

I had to include this one, because it’s not easy making new friends, except when you meet a group of people this awesome.  My met-when-our-kids-were-toddlers group has grown apart a little as our kids move into school age.  So, awesome, and also timely.

January 20: Riya’s school is collecting a different coin every day to donate to the Red Cross for Haiti. Today is dimes, so naturally I sent a dime bag with her to school.

January 28: Me: This spot looks terrible! Him: Yes. If someone gets down on their hands and knees, crawls behind the couch, and removes the register plate, they will be horrified at your imperfect patch and paint job. Move on dot org.

Etc., etc., etc. Living room remodel

February 4: Robin doesn’t feel that the phrase “to make one’s b*tch” really applies to knitting. As in, “I am going to make this sock my b*tch.” What say you?

People had a lot to say about this one.

[Not pictured: all the posts about my grandpa’s death.  I’ll just say that Facebook proved invaluable during that time.]

February 18: Today’s fashion tip for the under-4 set: wear 2 pairs of socks at once. Judging by my sample group, this is 100% popular. Thought you’d want to know.

February 19: After yesterday’s conference with Riya’s teacher, we both just stood there like, “Can you please say a few MORE nice things about our kid? Because it kind of validates our entire existence. Thanks.”

I think we were subtle about it, though.

February 24: is watching the rest of her plans for the morning go, quite literally, down the drain. Also, the person in our house after whom the toilet is most likely to require plunging: not who you’d think.

March 1: Scandal brews at local home: Shegotmoremilkthanme Gate.

March 2: Shy, quiet, serious Karina just almost made herself fall over laughing from her revised lyrics to the “Tiny Tim” song. #dontputmeinabox

March 5: I’ve been driven to the Google twice by kindergarten “Z” homework. I feel really good about that.

In my defense, we went further in-depth than strictly necessary, and I thought it’d be a good lesson in problem-solving/research.  Still.  Kindergarten homework.  Possibly Mommy needs to relax a little.

March 13: How wrong is it to open your kid’s birthday present? Riya’s promised copy of “Mulan” came in the mail today. According to the box, one of the DVD extras is a music video featuring Jackie Chan, and I am DYING to know what a fusion of Jackie Chan and Disney Princess looks like.

A friend suggested YouTube (duh, why didn’t I think of that).  It was, unfortunately, very disappointing.

March 22: Riya and I are typing away at side-by-side laptops. #nextgenerationnerd

March 26: Karina just drew a map of heaven which bears an eerie similarity to the junkyard in “Hansel and Diesel.”

March 28: Ben just spent about 5 minutes at the fence in the backyard, yelling for the next-door neighbor boy. He seemed not the least bit concerned that they appear not to be home.

March 31: In the Spring 2010 installment of “Julie vs. The Evil Storm Windows,” our heroine is grievously wounded, but her spirits remain undaunted.

April 6: Eight years married to this guy, and he’s not tired of me yet. Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must’ve done something good. (Sorry, I’m tired and the kids listen to the Sound of Music eleventy billion times a day.)

April 9: We lazed about this morning because there’s no school. Still, since we’ve been up, we’ve worked through a kindergarten friend crisis, had a surprise birthday party (it’s nobody’s birthday here today), held a debate about the relative merits of underwear, and waged war on more arachnids. So, a normal day.

April 13: I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Riya: I’m a toolitarian. I think it’s wrong to eat tools.

April 15: Major motherhood accomplishment! I’ve just taught Riya how to make her first paper fortune teller. I predict we’ll be busy with it all afternoon.

April 18: Robin: I don’t get the kids’ joke. Me: Really? ‘Cause it’s a good joke. Robin: Are they telling it right? You tell it. Me: [tells joke]. Robin: That’s stupid. Me: Yes.

The joke, that you may judge for yourselves: A cowboy walks into a restaurant and asks, “All right, all right, who painted my horse yellow?  I want to know!”  A tall, dangerous-looking stranger stands up in the back of the room and says, “I did.  What did you want to tell me?”  “I just thought you’d want to know — the first coat is dry!”  (They got it from a SteveSongs CD.)

I laughed every time because their delivery was so funny.  Robin is less easily amused, I guess.

April 21: I did my errands by bike today. I tried to think of a comparison to illustrate how elated this made me feel, but the first thing that came to mind (trip to Target/post office = the births of my children) was so embarrassing that it brought me down a few pegs. So that’s good.

April 23: The kids want to know if Jesus is going to bake Great-Grandpa a birthday cake in heaven on Sunday. (I said yes.)

April 24: No, Ben. I have not, since last night, managed to purchase more yogurt. Feel free to check the refrigerator. Again. No, you may not have a fruit roll-up for breakfast. (Daddy’s home tomorrow. Thank the Lord.)

[Not pictured: a bunch of other whiny posts about all the times Robin had to travel for work during this time period.]

April 29: Tonight’s the second night in a row we’ve had “Republican parsley” on our dinner. Robin starts telling me a political story, my hackles go up, and before I know it, the parsley is VERY finely chopped.

May 6:  So, Riya’s first tooth fairy experience is going to be courtesy of the dentist and some Novocaine. Poor kid inherited my stupid, growing-in-behind-instead-of-straight-below-the-baby-teeth permanent teeth. Even better, I have 3 weeks to stew about this. I ought to be nice and worked up by then.


About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
This entry was posted in Apple, Facebook, Jellyman, Orange, Raisin. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Facebook rehash

  1. Jody says:

    Love the story of the Republican parsley!

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