Forgiveness

This week’s prompt is about forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving yourself. Write about a time of forgiveness.

Which do you say first, “I’m sorry,” or “I forgive you?”

Apologizing first sucks because it’s like saying I was more wrong than you.  Which I wasn’t.  As wrong, maybe, but not more.  Or else it’s possible that I’ll say it and you won’t say it back and it’ll be like every wound you gave me is opened right back up again.

But if I start by telling you it’s OK, maybe you’ll think it actually is, when really I’ve forgiven, but haven’t yet forgotten.  Or maybe you’ll feel condescended to, like I don’t think I deserve any of the blame, like I’m some high-and-mighty perfect princess who deigns to forgive, or not, as she pleases.

So I say nothing, and every day it gets harder to know: which should I say first?


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About Grape

I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
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3 Responses to Forgiveness

  1. Well, I have this theory that if I give a dollar to a homeless person, I have to give it without expectation. That you just want to do something… anything. Provide an opportunity for food or relief of some sort… I don’t really know what or why. But after the dollar leaves my hand, I must walk away and just know that I did what my heart, not my head, told me to do; the old ticker often knows just what is best for my soul, if only my head would listen. So, the moral of the story is do what’s in your heart and let the rest unfold as it may.

    I know this is probably not about me, but often times we touch people’s lives without knowing or intending to do that.

    I am sorry. Will you forgive me? It would mean the world to me. If you can’t, I would understand. I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart and I am a silly old man who doesn’t have a clue how to do any of this… I’m just faking it and making it up as I go along.

    I tried to be sneaky about it: http://edgeofthecrater.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/cryptic-apology/
    Not sure that worked out so well… Refer back to the part where I’m a silly old man.

    Love always,
    Uncle Ron

  2. Galit Breen says:

    Fabulously few words to describe an incredibly tricky topic!

    I loved this line: “And it’ll be like every wound you gave me is opened right back up again.”

    Gorgeous and sad all rolled up into one. Perfect.

  3. I enjoy how this is like a stream of conscience. Can you be sorry without forgiving the other person? Or is being sorry part of your forgiveness? This topic is so tricky!
    Came from TRDC

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